The sky is so gray you'd have thought the clouds swallowed it whole
Wind's picked up more than usual, the chill in the air now a bitter cold
Wouldn't normally be out this late, but I could use the walk
Need to clear my mind from the meaningless chatter, the useless talk
An old telephone booth sits on the corner ahead, I've been meaning to get rid of some change
So I drop quarters in, dial a number, my greeting coming out small and strained
My dad picks up saying honey, why are you calling so late?
Told him I passed a phone on my way back home from some trendy restaurant he'd hate
I hear his laugh on the end of the line and I ask him about the weather
Says he'd joke about eighty degrees being a cold front if I wasn't so clever
I wrap my winter coat around myself just a little tighter
And he asks, well how is my stubborn little fighter?
I can barely hear him through the thousands of miles between our phones
I tell him I never knew the high road had any lows
He said, well they never said any of it was gonna be easy, there's times that'll be blue -
But Lord willing, you've always had a way of getting this world to bend it's will to you
I say I'm not so sure about that right now, I think I've misplaced my prayers
Been trying to find my way back to the journey upstairs
I can hear his smile through the crackling line, saying that I couldn't be anything but an angel
I tell him I'm worried my white dress has been dragged through the mud by hands of danger
And I know you told me to be tough, to always saddle up and get back on the horse
But you never told me how trivial it can become on life's course
He says, well baby I can't see the future, but I know it'll all turn out all right
Cause I didn't do all that raising for you to do anything besides stand and fight
I ask him if he's ever conducted autopsies on old decisions,
And he says that ain't no way for a person to be living
I tell him that sometimes it's tough and I miss looking up at the stars
Like I miss running barefoot on grass or hearing folk tunes spilling out of the local bar
No one else is the same, there ain't no other hearts like mine
He says you're a bit late to that one, I've known that about you since the dawn of time
He says why do your brown eyes seem so blue?
Asks if I've forgotten his words to live by, to thyself one must always be true
I tell him no I haven't forgotten, it's just getting harder to do
He just laughs and says I was once in my twenties too
Says I could always go back, but it wouldn't ever be the same
Something in me is permanently altered, parts forever changes
He tells me he'd fix any hurt I ever have if he could,
A small part of me was hoping it was possible he would
I know I must be costing him a fortune calling from so far
And I imagine the sound of rain on our tin roof or running through some pasture we just call a yard
Just momentarily to satiate me from this inexplicable longing I've got
But now someone else sleeps in my brother's room, years since that pecan orchard was bought
I say I know that I feel lost, but I never want to return
I may not know anything at all, but that's something I've surely learned
He warmly says I know, tells me this too shall pass,
That life's always got a funny way of working out
Then he says sweet dreams darling, he's got to get up in the morning
A couple broken fences need mending before that midday sun gets scorching
So I hang up and start my walk back home
Wondering if it's obvious I was born in outer space to everyone I know
Kick my boots off, attempt to find the sanity I've been losing
Wake in the middle of the night to a different ocean, the tides of my own choosing